“The best leaders were & are great followers. Great followers learn how to lead without the power given by position.” – Randy Blincow, Founder, Healthy Rhythms Life Coaching

Today, we return to the series on being great followers, addressing the attribute of empathy. Much has been written to compare empathy and sympathy; my working definition is that both describe the ability to understand and acknowledge the feelings of someone else, but empathy goes deeper by being able to share the feelings. In other words, putting yourself in their shoes and seeing things from their perspective.

This deeper meaning is very profound. Notice that it requires relationship. Much more than just a passing “oh, that must be hard,” empathy requires an intimacy of first taking the time to really understand the circumstances and how they are impacting the other person, and then being able to relate to those feelings based on your own experience. Finally, expression of empathy within the context of this relationship must be made. This expression comes with the intention of helping the other cope, and possibly even redeeming the circumstances in a tangible way. The step of redemption is dependent upon the wishes of the other person. Many times, they simply need to know someone cares.

I want to make two important points when it comes to empathy. Before I do, let me first point out that without the ability to connect relationally, you will not be successful as a follower or a leader. Within the marriage or family context, peer to peer, in a church or other organization, and most certainly within the workplace – being able to connect with people in a way that allows you to see things from their perspective is the path to success, no matter how you define success.

In our increasingly connected world – and by connected, I mean electronically – empathy is becoming a lost art. It is possible to express sympathy through electronic communication (a text, e-mail, emoji, or social media post/comment), but you will never be able to display empathy. Unless you are face-to-face, better yet eyeball-to-eyeball, you cannot know how someone is being impacted. When you can see the emotion in their eyes, you are better equipped to be helpful in your response. The appropriate response is often non-verbal. Electronic silence is equal to absence, but in-person silence can connect on an emotional – empathetic – level.

You will likely be unable to learn how to be empathetic after you become a leader. This entire series is dedicated to those attributes that you must display – and be growing in – as a follower if you are ever to be an effective leader. Leaders who did not learn how to be empathetic as followers are very unlikely to see this attribute as necessary to their success. But I am guessing that each of you can identify a leader you’ve had in your life that lacked this skill. And I’m willing to bet you found them to be less than ideal.

That said, empathy is something we can improve with practice.  And as we do so, we become the type of follower every leader and every organization (marriage/family, church, club, workplace) comes to rely upon. Your leader, today, needs your empathy. Your understanding of the challenges he/she faces, and your helpful response, are a key to their success. And you, in turn, will be better equipped if you move up to higher positions.